| who knows why i'm even doing this? |
[Feb. 20th, 2006|03:30 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Keith Urban | ] |
Quick weekend recap? Well since my weekend starts on Thursday (or it should anyway), here goes:
.Dinner at the house and stayed for a while talking to some of the brothers
.Attempted to do work when I got back
.Got bored, ordered pizza, and shared with Amanda and a couple of boys on my floor
.Hung out in the guys' suite for a while
.Classes and speed packing
.Mom came to get me, gave me a clipping on 24, gave me a 2-sided storybook to Sleeping Beauty, and took me to lunch
.On the way home, a rock hit my mom's windshield, rendering her car unusable until Monday once we got home
.I was car-less all weekend
.Could have gotten paid to go to the Keith Urban concert at school, but I was home so I went to Secret Lives with Daniel and Laura and Stephen
.I saw some of my lovers at the show
.Saturday it snowed at school, Mom had my car all day, and I was stranded inside at home
.Daniel's house for some cookie cake and cake and milk and Rocky with some cool people
.Wanted to have a sleepover with them but I had too much work to do and church in the morning
.Wasn't woken up for church, but woke up to a yuuuge breakfast
.Did work until I had to leave to come back to school
Needless to say, I got hardly anything done ALL weekend. This week is going to be freaking hellll.
Nice thoughts would be appreciated, though it's been so long since I've written that nothing's expected, haha. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 22nd, 2005|10:48 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Rascal Flatts | ] |
Hey GUYYYS! Remember meee?? ME TOO!
Just letting you know that I'm alive and well and the master procrastinator (still, haha).
Lindsey Parr skipped class today. I thought it was funny.
I'm going home tomorrow.
I've met a lot of people and I'm haveing a BALL!
I'm trying to go to the mountains whenever I can, so if anyone knows of any way that could be possible, LET ME KNOW.
I'll do the 20 facts thing next time.
I'm procrastinating, but I really need to start my work.
I loooooove you. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 19th, 2005|12:57 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Serendipity Soundtrack | ] |
I love all of you that I saw today that let me spend time with them. Thank you so much for that. You are amazing. Honestly, this next week, you know, the one that I have to wait through before I can move in, is going to be so... weird? There's several words I could use, but what am I going to do without you guys who are leaving? The majority of you are gone/leaving in several hours. Wow. Shit.
( Let me ramble so I can maybe forget this for a bit )
Ok good, now that I have that out of the way... ugh, it's flooding back. The temporary repression was nice while it lasted. But I have the best send-off/commemoration/congrats and good luck/thank you idea ever. It will take place tomorrow since I will have nothing better to do after the remaining college-bound friends I have leave. No worries. As long as you have an internet connection and my friendship, you'll have the opportunity to see my shrine to you all. My next update may very well be my last. At least for a while. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 18th, 2005|12:15 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  gloomy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Show The Way - David Wilcox | ] |
Yes I was upset last night/this morning, but thank goodness I decided to go to the Prank Call Party this afternoon. Good people, good phone calls, lots of fun, lots of laughing. Matt, I want to see that mural of the 31 cats with their respective celebrities on a canvas covering your living room ceiling one day. And that same living room better have a Mexican man and a French woman sitting watching Maury refusing to leave your house.
The only thing is that I didn't say goodbye... I think a resolution is in order.
So I came home and cleaned today and found $40 cash from my Confirmation in 6th grade. YESSS!! And I found some little love notes and such that made me smile a lot when I read them. I like reading old stuff like that. I'm almost done cleaning out my room, I'm gonna finish my bathroom and start packing next. Yay.
About 7 or 8pm I drove to Qdoba and took it to Erin's house to eat with lovely people that I wish I knew better. And then Erin and I 'made the rounds' meaning we only got to see 2 out of the 4 we wanted to see, but Patrick and Andy were wonderful. And we saw Matt too, haha, and watched The Office marathon. It was amazing.
Well, now that it's Thursday, I'm going to sleep a few hours before I get up to see the people I missed seeing this evening. Kathryn, if I don't see you I will cry. Then I'm going to breakfast with Zac. And then to Patrick Baine's for another breakfast maybe and to help him start/finish packing. And then to getting hair done with Erin. And then to running errands before Jeff's pool party. And then seeing more people who are leaving me.
Oh God, tomorrow/today/THURSDAY is going to be so hard on me... If I cried when Adam and Brian left... I will be a mess tomorrow. Oh no. Please be with me tomorrow. I need to see everyone. Everyone. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 16th, 2005|11:51 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sad/frustrated/confused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Pin Your Wings - Copeland | ] |
All I want is a guy who I can run up to hair all messy, make-up running down my face, eyes red from crying, in a hoodie and sweatpants, and he still says...'Baby, you're beautiful.'
^^I found this during my tedious cleaning-out sessions in my room. I wrote it on a napkin when I was sad one day last year. I don't know where I got it from. But I like it a lot.
This pretty much sums up how I feel/look right now. Alright guys, who wants me?
I just want one day to go completely right for a change before everyone leaves for school. So far, it's looking grim. |
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| Things that caught my eye... |
[Aug. 14th, 2005|01:16 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  working | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | BBMak | ] |
So, I'm spending my entire Sunday cleaning. Fancy that. I just found my box of notes and cards from the past that meant so much to me. I feel like crying, naturally. A lot of them are from people who I used to love but have grown away from me in the past year or so...By the way, this entry will probably be changing a lot as I come across more that I think are worth mentioning.
( Letters, notes, cards... )
Isn't it great how in every single middle school note ever written, people are asking "Who do you like??? OMG OMG Tell me!! Who do you like??? I'll tell you if you tell me!!" Haha. Silly middle schoolers. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 13th, 2005|01:39 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Goodbye Earl - Dixie Chicks | ] |
Wednesday night, Erin and Jason and I were at Joey's house hanging out. I didn't sleep. And it was fun.
Thursday morning I was a few minutes late for work. I slept multiple times during my breaks.
That night I got ready for a fake-out Verdict show, so Erin and I ate Taco Bell at Adam's house with Jason. I cried when I hugged Adam goodbye, because that was the moment that it hit me, that I won't be able to see him or anyone else for that matter any time I want. I will miss him a lot.
After Adam's house I went to see Kathryn and Patrick Baine. And we talked. And I love them a lot. Next week is going to tear me up.
Then Erin and I went to Chad's house to swim. It was so much fun. I'm going to miss them all a lot. At least Noah is going to Chapel Hill. I have pictures. Maybe one of these days I'll get around to posting them...
Then I went home and Brian met me. We sat outside my house until like 3:30 in the morning and talked. It feels like I've known him a lot longer than however long it's been. What a nice guy. I'll be visiting.
Friday morning I woke up 6 minutes after the time I was supposed to be at work. I pulled it off. Got there only 15 minutes late. Got off 30 minutes early. Came home, showered and accidently fell asleep.
That night, I meant to see Erin and PB but they were out. I went to Patrick Summers' and we went to Starbucks and Chaz's. It was a nice night. And I woke up and ate Cheez-Its and rice krispies treats.
It's getting harder. I'm not going to sleep this week. I will be out all night with the people I love who are leaving this weekend. I thought I was going to be seeing everyone whether they liked it or not, but I've recently decided that some people are not worth the effort and don't deserve any more chances. Call me a bitch, but it sucks for them, I'm going to spend my time with people who aren't two-faced douchebags. And I'm gonna have so much fun. Be jealous. |
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| Simply Splendid... |
[Aug. 11th, 2005|07:13 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | working | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | I'm singing songs to stay awake | ] |
Hi, I'm a lifeguard who is hard at work this morning. I got zero sleep this past evening, therefore please excuse how weird and incoherent I will sound.
I am in love. With everything. I am so happy with how things are going. Nothing can bring me down. Everything has been absolutely wonderful lately. I could not ask for more. Thank you God.
Yesterday, I didn't have to work, so I busied myself with extensive cleaning up and cleaning out in my room (which is being taken one step at a time, so naturally it won't be completed until I leave for The Hill) and intense college shopping. I'm still not done, but I only have a couple more items to purchase. My mother got me the coolest chair that I made her buy for my birthday. Once I get my rainbows, my birthday is complete. I'll know everything my family has gotten me.
We went to Talia's last night for Alex Vincent's going away party. It makes me sad that he is going all the way to Utah. He will be missed by so many people who love him dearly, but I'm glad he's excited to go. His departure was followed by a cry fest and a love tangle. It still hasn't hit me that people are leaving and that I won't see them whenever I want. Lord help me when I realize that.
I almost called a boy today. And yesterday. But I didn't. I thought maybe it would be a bad idea since it has been in the past. But I think I really will try it today.
Another boy made me happy today. By talking to me and making me feel better about crummy situations and making plans to celebrate National Underwear Day (which was yesterday). I thank him a lot for staying awake for as long as I was awake, while the others slept and made fun of how I had to be here (at work) so daggum early. By the way, I hope his 'Naked Time' is thoroughly enjoyable, hahahaa.
So thank you Talia, Kathryn, Alex, Erin, Jason, and Joey for a magnificent evening/morning. I'm going to suck down this gigantic cappuchino and read HP to stay living. Someone hang out with me after 2:30pm. |
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| Just, you know, sitting at work at 6:30 on a Tuesday morning... |
[Aug. 9th, 2005|06:52 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Ugh, I forgot my iPod | ] |
Woohoo! There ain't nothing like setting your alarm for 5:25am and unconsciously turning it off, sleeping until 6:20 when your mom comes in to see what time you need to be at work, and getting to work a few minutes past 6:30 which is considered to be "on time". I love it. Too bad I actually needed all that extra time this morning. Had things to do! Including get gas (because I seriously might not make it home from work, I'm so low) and coffee (so I can stay awake until 2:30ish when I get off) and clean up a bit, pack a decent lunch and some activities to do from 6:30 to 10 this morning since only one person ever comes in during that time frame. I'm bummed that I forgot my iPod, but, eh, I got some Harry Potter and a letter I need to respond to (familia in PORTUGAL).
Last night was...different than I thought it would go. There's no other way to put that. It was fun, Team America was great. The people were amazing. The Oreos with peanut butter were fabulous. Massages were wonderful. I want to have a slumber party before everyone leaves for college. But, to be perfectly honest, I wasn't sure about...nevermind.
Investigation is imperative. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 8th, 2005|06:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  determined | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Albert King and Stevie Ray Vaughan | ] |
I'm not allowed to go shopping anymore. Not until I've cleaned. Problem is, I want to go shopping, but I don't want to clean. And the reason I have to clean is so I can see what I have and figure out what I need. And I'm trying, I really am, but it's just not working. I just sit and listen to music and look things up online instead until someone calls me and gives me something to do socially that evening. I mean, I don't mind or anything, I like relaxing like that/like this (because I'm doing it at the moment) and I like hanging out with people. I just don't want to clean. And I have the curious feeling that this is just going to make packing/moving more difficult. Eh, I'm a last minute kind of gal I suppose.
On a different note, I hope it starts thunderstorming. I love it.
I open the pool tomorrow morning, and Thursday morning as well, so I'm thinking you should be online so I can leave you a message at 6:30am. Even if you aren't there, no worries, it will be amazing and if you miss out on it, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. No lies. |
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| Oh what a night... |
[Aug. 6th, 2005|11:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | confused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Taking Back Sunday | ] |
To quickly recap the amazingly long and random and fun night/morning of events constituting "A NIGHT":
Mini cups w/ spoons of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream, getting ready/sexy for a night out, the show, taco bell and the wait for our order, getting to Chad's an hour late, no swimming, eating/hanging out/sex noises, Drew's to meet people, Patrick Summers' house and a late night walk, Adam Griffin's house and sitting in my car, Harris Teeter for potty and horoscopes and candy bars, nap in the HT parking lot, Starbucks at 6am, Windsor Park for a nap, returning to respective homes
I'm still exhausted because I had to go to Fan Fest for the Panthers with the familia, ate Fuel, went home, took sister to South Park to shop just the two of us, made phone calls to figure out info about tonight's show at The Well and about rides, hung out with Don, Juxta Position show (AMAZING), driving around, Zac's house, and now I'm home.
I'm slightly curious/worried/frustrated with some things/people right now because I just don't know what the hell is going on. How did things change so much in such a short period of time?? I don't even know what happened it was all so fast! |
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| Blow me up |
[Jul. 28th, 2005|10:14 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Rascal Flatts | ] |
Sometimes (all the time, ahem) I would like to know what the hell people are thinking. Now is the time to do so because I haven't seen most of you in a while. [I apologize] So go ahead. Tell me what is on your mind, ask me a question, tell me what you think about me, tell me what makes you happy/sad/amazing/crappy, tell me your favorite something-or-other, tell me a joke, tell me a story. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 25th, 2005|11:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  Freaking wonderful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | None, just home, everyone's asleep?! | ] |
Hey you know what's fun? Coming home from work and having no plans, and then meeting Blair at GoGo and then having Qdoba, and then driving around trying to make the rounds realizing that almost everyone is out of town, calling people and showing up at this way freaking cool house to play hide and seek/sardines/capture the flag/freeze tag in the house with all the lights off until 11:30pm. I'm not gonna lie, I had an amazing evening.
The only downer was that a restricted number called my cell phone right before i was getting ready to leave, so naturally I think it's one of my friends trying to trick me into thinking that they were my dad. Honestly, I thought it was Patrick Baine. But it wasn't. It really was my dad. And I had to get home quickly. And I might be in trouble. But that's dumb. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 21st, 2005|12:31 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  It's that weird time of night | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Deathcab for Cutie | ] |
I could seriously live off of ultimate frisbee, guys, slushies, movies, ladies nights, and books. And late night visits. And people, not in the cannibalistic way, but by meeting them and spending time with certain ones. By the way, some people are making me WAY happy. And I thank you. And we're going to live happily ever after.
Things are SO unbelievably fabulous right now... |
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| HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! |
[Jul. 20th, 2005|12:16 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  freaking amazing | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | KELLY CLARKSON | ] |
Wow, I just had the most amazing evening. We lost power at my house, my family went out for Chinese without me because I already had plans to go to a late movie (since we weren't invited to the earlier one, jerks), they tell me to lock all the doors before I leave, and what do they do? Forget to bring a key with them and lock themselves out of the house. I mean really guys. You knew the power was out when you left. Apparently, it was my fault that they were stranded. I was told that I can't do anything after 8pm during the week. Ever.
But it has a happy ending. I gave my house key to Jeff to drop by when their movie was over so my family got in the house. And I went to Qdoba for dinner and then went to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Patrick, Matt, and Eli. It was amazing. Hilarious to say the least. I haven't laughed that much in a long time. It was so entertaining. The oompa loompas and the giant sea horse and the singing and dancing and candy... I did salivate, I must say, I got rather hungry, and I'm a fatty.
Then I get home, and my mom is up and on the phone with a best friend of hers and she's HAPPY?? So I walk in expecting a beating and she comes to hug and kiss me and tell me she's sorry and she didn't mean it. Huh. I freaking rock. (Not that I wouldn't have gone out anyways, I've got plans for tomorrow's eve already, hehee)
I cannot wait until the National Geographic movie on penguins comes out. HAHAHHAA! We've got plans for it already, to go and be the voices for the penguins. And Eli is the Otter. It's gonna be freaking amazing. |
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| What a turn around!! |
[Jul. 17th, 2005|01:01 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | Thrilled, to say the least. | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Incubus - I miss you | ] |
Hello friends! I'm currently residing at Miss Erin Coffin's house for the evening. She is pretty amazing and really gosh-darn lucky. Seriously, I'm jealous and I want to be her right now.
But things are going so great for me right now. Like wow. I can't believe that the talk I had with Jason till 2:30 this morning was as effective as it has been. I woke up after a 10 hour sleep so comfortable and peaceful and rested and I was not upset at all. I pretty much lazed around for the next 5 hours, and did puzzles and rocked out. And saw Chaz and Erin when I went to GoGo. And I really did nothing all day today, but I felt so productive, and that's just as good in my opinion.
But seriously, the shout-out for this evening goes out to Don Pate and Chad Heileger for inviting me to go play Ultimate Frisbee with them tonight. WOW. IT WAS FREAKING AMAZING. I loved every minute of it, even the injury and the humidity and the sweat and the running. Those people are freaking wonderful. And the hugs that I got, even though we were all so hot and gross and dripping, they were so wonderful. I cannot wait until I'm with them all again. Seriously. THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU GUYS.
I'm going back to our slumber party now, where we're eating hot pockets, and possibly pizza and ice cream later and we're talking about how suddenly all these wonderful events have come about for the both of us. It's lovely, simply lovely. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 16th, 2005|01:31 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | full | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Copeland's first cd...the soundtrack of my life | ] |
So hey, I blew a bunch of people off yesterday. I apologize. I couldn't do things because I thought I was doing other things but then everything fell through and the night ended with me driving around aimlessly for half an hour trying to find something to do, but I didn't. After hanging out with Jeff, Rorie, and Christine for an hour or so, I just went home. And then Jason Pearson came over at like midnight and we sat and talked and understood each other for 2.5 hours. We could have gone longer, but that thing called sleep has been deprived from both of us, so we decided to try to put an end to that. But it was good. It's nice being able to pour your heart out to someone once in a while. Thanks for being there. It was the best way to end my evening. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 14th, 2005|12:23 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | 2 miles, ab work, and ultimate | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Florez | ] |
Last night/this morning I talked to my roommate Myrna and her best friend Jon via IM.
They are freaking cool. And they are both moving in early, as am I, on August 24th.
Myrna and I are pretty much the same person, so naturally I like her a lot.
She's from Florida, and I can't wait to meet her. And Jon as well.
And the more people I meet, the more excited I get.
It's going to get out of control.
I can't contain it.
I'm beaming.
YES. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 10th, 2005|06:35 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | One of my newly acquired friends | ] |
Lately I've had really good days. I've hung out with people I haven't seen in a while, and that's always pleasant.
Patrick Summers and I have been on a couple adventures the past few days, I can't even remember everything we did because it was so fast and so random. Hm, we laid around, went to Starbucks, went to GoGo, went to Kathryn's house, watched the lightning in the clouds, watched "The Anatomy of Sex" with his mom, went to Laser Quest, went to eat and got free cookies, made a mess, rocked out to Kelly Clarkson, went to Andy's, went to the park, came to my house and watched Saved with Erin and Andy... it's been a lot of fun, I'm glad we talk again.
And yesterday was pretty fun for the most part. Lazing around in a tank top and undies until 3:30pm, looking at pictures for a few hours, hanging out with Erin and Jeff and Blair, CHICKEN SALAD, Kathryn's house, Qdoba, Cream n Bean, seeing people I've missed terribly, going swimming at Jeff's till midnight, Erin mounting me and everyone making me feel really loved, making a food run at Harris Teeter in our bathing suits and eating a bag of chips while we're shopping, coming back to my house and having a ladies' night with Erin, Talia, Blair, Rorie, Kathryn, and Laura and eating ALL the food we bought, watching O, and being loved by my women... fabulous.
BEST STORY EVER:
Erin: Lauren, is Blair wearing any clothing? Because her pajamas are under Rorie...
[Blair wakes up, hearing her name]
Me: Um, Blair? Are you wearing any clothing? Because I think Rorie is sleeping on your pajamas...
[Rorie wakes up, hearing her name]
Blair: [smiling] NOPE! It got so hoooot!
Rorie: Oh my God Blair!! You are not fucking naked! Put on some fucking clothes!!
Blair: But I'm wearing underwear! And it's so hot! Heyyy, someone dropped a Pizza Roll on my bra!
Everyone: Blair, YOU did it.
Blair: Haha, oh yeah. Let's watch O. |
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| Thank you Lady Luck... |
[Jul. 6th, 2005|12:14 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | crushed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | David Berkeley | ] |
It's that breathing where you feel like you're hyperventilating but not getting enough oxygen at the same time and you feel like you're going to pass out but you try not to in hopes that you can get to a place with a pillow so you can cry and scream and rant and rave without anyone hearing you and you wear yourself out to the point of exhaustion and you sleep, hopefully peacefully.
I feel opposite of how I think I should feel. I'm confused, I don't know what's going on around me. Things are moving so fast. People hide things from me, including how they really feel, and that hurts alot. I'm sick of people being fake, I'm sick of people lying, I'm sick of being in the middle of conflicts that I try to stay far away from, I'm sick of how all I do is try to be there for people and I get shot down.
I wish for so many things right now, but I would be satisfied if none of those came true and someone could just tell me what the hell I did to deserve my world to crumble like it is now. |
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